Ramen resuscitation
by Lord Cynic
Summary: NaruHina with an OOC twist. You've been warned. A moment in Ichiraku involving an oblivious Naruto and a schizo Hinata... no comment.


**Lord Cynic:** "I jinxed myself good."

**Mashu: **"The game release got pushed back, didn't it?"

**Lord Cynic: **(_grumbles_) "Yes... from the 17th to the 21st. What the hell?!"**  
**

**Mashu:** "Darn… um, some small details. This is a combined work, that is, we both wrote it. You might be able to tell. As we've said in the summary, there's some obvious OOCness, but you can blame Cynic for that. And for the sake of it, taking a page from Let me see's book, we'll just say Naruto and Hinata are 15. Easy."

* * *

**Mashu:** "We own nothing." 

**Lord Cynic:** "But soon I will own Ultimate Ninja! Hahahahahahaha!… Damn laggy Australian game releases…"

* * *

**_Ramen resuscitation_**

Naruto wanted to enjoy his ramen, he really did. It was sitting in front of him, in all its piping hot glory. Its aroma wafted through the air, teasing his nostrils and making his mouth subconsciously water. To him, the mix of noodles, meat and vegetables was truly a sight to behold, a godsend even. But for all its awesomeness, he just couldn't bring himself to eat it.

Why?

Because his buddy for lunch, Hinata, was staring at him. And had been since they'd arrived, sat and ordered. And he didn't know why. And it was freaking him out.

Everything had started innocently enough. After a vigorous training session involving Kage Bunshin, Rasengan and obliterated scenery (he'd never tell), he'd met Hinata on the way to Ichiraku. For some odd reason she'd been standing in the street with a spaced-out look on her face – until he'd said hello and given her a near-fatal heart attack. After awkward greetings, and blushing on Hinata's part, Naruto had invited her to join him for lunch. Along the way he'd gone into exaggerated storyteller mode, not noticing Hinata gazing at him in awe. It took until they'd been seated and he'd ordered the usual (eight bowls) before he realised she had been (and still was) looking straight at him, even with that fever-induced (or so he thought) blush on her face.

And hadn't stopped since.

He was really getting nervous. For all his attention cravings as a young (er) kid, he found himself unable to handle the intense staring of Hinata's pupil-less, lavender-tinged eyes. It really wasn't like her, because she barely looked at him most of the time. Either she wasn't being herself, or someone was using Henge to copy her. But that was stupid… why choose her in the first place?

Naruto trusted his instincts, and concluded that Hinata was very weird. One thing still bugged him, however: why the hell was she still staring at him? Well, only one way to find out.

"Hey, Hinata-chan," he began, surprising himself with the familiar honorific (as well as the person he was talking to, it seemed), "is something wrong?"

He watched in newfound amusement as the Hyuuga girl blinked, looked at him, blinked again in confusion before becoming startled and almost falling off her seat. Well, for all her weirdness she seemed to be normal again. He tried again while she tried to calm down.

"Is something wrong? You've been staring at me for a while. I thought maybe I had something on my face but you didn't look like you were disgusted or anything. Do I look dirty, maybe? I have been training a lot, heheh…" It was funny that he was already feeling at ease. Since Hinata was acting as normal/weird as she usually did (she was now poking her index fingers together), Naruto wasn't as nervous anymore.

Oh, the ironing. Huh?… Oh, irony. Whatever.

"N-N-No," was all Hinata managed to utter before she clammed up and looked away, face scarlet from her terrible blush.

Naruto squinted at her in his attempt to figure out if the pale-eyed girl was hiding anything. Finally, he was satisfied with her one-worded answer and remembered his neglected ramen. He grabbed a pair of chopsticks, broke them apart, shouted "Itadakimasu!" and dug into his meal. He all but completely forgot about Hinata in the process.

He was halfway through his order when he felt a tap on his shoulder. His mouth bulged with ramen as he turned to the person who interrupted him.

He barely saw Hinata whisper "I'm sorry, Naruto-kun" before she punched him in the chest, causing him to choke on his food. The last thing he heard was "H-Help! He's ch-ch-choking!" before a second punch knocked him unconscious.

* * *

There was one thing about Hyuuga Hinata that almost no one knew but her. When she wanted to, now her shy and timid exterior could be a very elaborate disguise. Her disguise was mainly kept to deceive people before she laid the smackdown on their candy asses (hey, wrestling can be interpreted as a form of taijutsu, and Funaki was awesome). When it was triggered, however, she could become a sneaky, cunning and rather naughty young girl. Her alternate personality mainly surfaced in the safety of her (rather vivid) imagination, leaving her 'weak' façade to be exposed to her indifferent family and (in the nicest way possible) clueless friends. She supposed Kurenai-sensei would've figured it out by now, but she'd never say anything. 

When did her B-Side persona come from? Well, without going into detail, it involved a stray copy of a certain graphic book. Believe it or not, there's some dirty but awesome material in those books. Hinata had found out firsthand. (For the record, that was _after_ she became an official ninja. Any younger would have made it a form of child abuse.)

When her dear Naruto-kun found her standing in the street, she was having an inner dispute with her two personalities. A-Side Hinata said she had shopping to do, but B-Side Hinata said she had some stalking to do. Fortunately (?), Naruto-kun's arrival automatically triggered her shy psyche – she could never be as strong and confident as she wished she could be around her crush. Consequently, after her heart attack, all she could do was stutter and blush.

Naruto-kun's invitation to lunch was so genuine and kind a gesture that it activated B-Side Hinata, and she felt an overwhelming sense of admiration and adoration take over. For once, she didn't hear Naruto-kun tell her his stories as she simply stared at him. She drank in all his features, wanting to savour the moment and burn a permanent image in her mind.

His wild, spiky, uniquely blonde hair that she wanted to run her fingers through.

His adorable whisker marks she was tempted to reach out and touch.

The professionally unwise but characteristically outlandish orange clothing that covered his toned… strong… sexy body. (Vivid imagination indeed.)

His mouth, wide and expressive… with lips she desperately wanted to claim with her own…

"Hey, Hinata-chan," Naruto-kun's voice called, bringing the about-to-rocket-nosebleed girl back to reality, "is something wrong?"

Suddenly, A-Side Hinata returned as all thoughts of making out with her crush (among other things) vanished from her mind. She blinked to focus on her surroundings, before locking onto a slightly grinning Naruto-kun and blinking in confusion. When she realised where she was, and what she had being doing (as well as thinking about), she almost stood up and bolted. Only her developed sense of public propriety kept her in her seat, albeit mortified at her actions.

Her head was swimming with fear and trepidation and she barely heard him repeat his concern before rambling on. It was very sweet of Naruto-kun to ask, but he need not have bothered to worry about her. She was undeserving of his attention, and if he knew even a little of what she dreamed about him… the Hyuuga girl's face almost literally burst into flames at the very embarrassing possibilities.

When she realised he was waiting for an answer, she forced herself to speak. However, all she could squeeze out of her vocal cords was a stuttered, feeble "N-No," before she ducked her head, avoiding making eye contact.

After a tense silence, she finally heard a loud "Itadakimasu!" and the unmistakeable (and welcome) slurping of Naruto-kun's messy eating habits. She took the time to gather her thoughts, nerves and sanity. What had she been doing all that time? Just _staring_ at him? And what did he think about it? Was he scared of her? Did he think she was even weirder now?

She suddenly halted her self-deprecation when B-Side Hinata reared her head and took over. In a flash, all her fears and worries went down the toilet, replaced by a burning desire. Here was her chance! She and Naruto-kun were alone (sorta), and she found the perfect way to administer her plan and hopefully get her man (had to do it).

Without hesitation, Hinata tapped her unfortunate crush and victim on the shoulder. She only whispered a quick "I'm sorry, Naruto-kun" to him before slamming a fist into his gut to make him choke. While he struggled, she yelled out "Help, he's choking!" before delivering another punch to knock him out cold.

_**Operation: Ramen Resuscitation. Phase 1: Complete!**_

Thankfully, or perhaps miraculously, not one person noticed she was the one to cause the incident. Therefore, she was completely scot-free! Now the second phase of her plan could commence.

"O-Oh no!" she called out. "N-Naruto-kun's u-unconscious! He n-needs help! Somebody!"

The ramen man and girl (Teuchi and Ayame?) ran out from the kitchen when they heard their prized customer was hurt. Hinata looked at them with (fake?) tears leaking from her eyes. She acted as if she didn't know what to do, but in reality was waiting for someone else to suggest it.

Thankfully, Teuchi came to her rescue.

"Does anyone know CPR?"

Why didn't he and his daughter help? Well, without sounding cruel, they did have a business to run, and if Cynic wants, he can make it so the kitchen catches on fire or something. He loves fire… Well, why does it matter?

Nonetheless, Hinata took her chance. She breathed in deeply, before answering with a shaky yes. She asked for some space, before tentatively bending down and putting her mouth over Naruto-kun's. She conveniently forgot to pinch his nose to prevent oxygen escaping, and for some reason, no one was reminding her (or caring). It was almost perfect. With hidden glee, she repeated her administrations, while secretly healing him with a medical technique.

_**Operation: Ramen resuscitation. Phase 2: Complete!**_

Finally (or too soon), Naruto-kun cracked an eye open. Hinata returned to her A-Side personality, leaping up and almost clinging to her seat with embarrassment. She was very glad her crush was all right, but she was still very shy and timid around him. She didn't even notice she was the only one to give assistance, even when there were at least ten other people around her.

That was all forgotten when Naruto-kun squinted at her in confusion. She blushed.

"Hinata-chan? What happened?"

That honorific again… Hinata simply felt as if she was floating. She did, however, hear Teuchi answer for her.

"This young lass saved your life. She was here the whole time."

Naruto-kun's eyes lit up in understanding and gratitude, and a very happy Hinata found herself engulfed in a very desirable bear hug. In her daze, she heard him thank her profusely for saving him. She felt like she could faint any second, he was so close… and they were… and he was… and she was…

Then, Naruto-kun kissed her on the cheek.

As she faded into a giddy unconsciousness, the B-Side Hinata in her mind cackled.

_**"Operation: Ramen Resuscitation: Complete! Now, to get him in his apartment…"**_

_**The End**_


End file.
